Quickest Year of My Life

It amazes me that we are only two weeks away from our little girl turning one year old. I don't know where the time went. Watching her grow and change over this last year has been such a joy...I can't even begin to describe it. I'm excited for the years to come, but saddened by how quickly she's growing up and how soon she won't be a "baby" any more.

I watched as she was placed on my belly at birth, as she took her first breaths of life.
I watched as my family met her for the very first time.
I ached when her little belly would hurt.
I smiled at her little coos.
I laughed at her facial expressions and how silly she could be when she's so tiny.
I was proud when she rolled over for the first time.
I was amazed when she started crawling.
I was blown away when we had to move her crib mattress down at 61/2 months because she was standing.
I was excited watching her take her first steps.
I am humbled at how much she calms me and teaches me to enjoy the moment.
I am heartbroken at how big she's getting.
I am excited for what we can teach eachother next.
I am in love like I never knew I would be.

They tell you that you don't know what love is until your first child is born. I knew that it was true but just didn't understand the extent to which the human heart can love. I love my husband wholly and completely, but my child is without words. I would do anything to keep her safe and to give her the life that she deserves. I'm so thankful to have created a family with my best friend, and to have the opportunity to parent with him. Having Rebekah in our lives has given us a closeness that I never knew existed. We are constantly working in partnership, where before she came in to the picture, we were living our lives together.

I'm just amazed at how that adorable little being can change my outlook on life so drastically. Before, I constantly felt like I had to be busy. Now, I'm content just watching her play and learn. I don't want to be "out and about" on the weekends. I just want to be at home with my little family soaking up every second that I can with them.

Having Bekah has definitely changed me, but its given me a focus that I never knew I could have. Thank you, little one, for making my life amazing.

Life Changes

I created this blog in August while going through a really tough anti-depressant medication change. I never really had any direction for it. I read my friend's posts regularly, now. Each one of them has some sort of purpose behind their posts - children, school, family...I'm thinking now that I have my own reasons and I thought that it would be a great way to chronicle the journey!

After 5 1/2 years of marriage and 10 years together Justin and I have decided to start a family. We decided a bit late in the month this month, but are excited for our next chance to conceive in January. I've been ready for this change in my life for a while. Justin has taken a bit more time to be ready, mainly for financial concerns, but I wanted him to be ready on his own. Not with my pushing. Not with my nagging. When he was ready. I let him know that I was ready whenever he was, and left it at that.

We hadn't had a real conversation about starting a family in quite some time. We joked about it. I ooh-ed and aah-ed at friend's little ones, babies on TV, pregnant women... He joked to friends in a sarcastic tone about how "excited" he was for parenthood. But in the last few weeks, we've actually talked about it and have since started trying. His acceptance of this change came all at once, at least from my perspective, but I'm so glad that we're 100% in this together. We have a solid marriage and I can genuinely say I'm married to my very best friend. If there's anyone I want as a partner in this, it's him. He's going to be an amazing dad, and has an incredible heart for kids. It will be fun to experience the ups and downs together.

I'm excited, scared, nervous and anticipating the challenges and joys of parenthood. I feel like I've been a parent for so many years already, since I work with kids for a living. I feel like a second "mom" to a lot of our friend's kids, but this will be so much different. I can't wait for the day when I will find out that my dreams of becoming a mom will become a reality! Stay tuned!