Alright already!

I'm one of those women that is lucky enough (usually) to wake up in the morning and know if I've gotten my period or not. I'm not a mid or late day started, which is quite convenient, I might add. After looking at the calendar we realized that I was actually due on Wednesday. We woke up this morning and still no "Flo" so Justin and I got impatient. I came home this afternoon and took a test again...and it STILL said no! What the heck?!

Anticipation

It's a strange thing. You spend the first, well in my case, 11 years of your "life" trying NOT to get pregnant. You do everything you can to avoid the "blessed event" and have no qualms about it. You're relieved on a monthly basis (for a few minutes anyway) when you get your period knowing that you avoided an unplanned pregnancy. Then...

You start trying to have a baby and you have to reverse your entire way of thinking that has become SO ingrained in your way of life. Suddenly you're NOT concerned about becoming pregnant and you WANT to miss your period. WTF?! NOT NORMAL!!!

All this to say that tomorrow is the day that I'm expecting Aunt Flo, and for the first time I'm actually hopeful she doesn't come. Justin and I agreed that in light of pregnancy tests being so damn expensive we're going to wait until I'm a week late before we acutally utilize the test that is currently sitting in my bathroom cabinet. Time will tell, and I'm hopeful!

Am I? Am I not?

Oh the head games we play with ourselves...

The last few weeks my body has been doing some very strange things. First, my period in December was...well, wierd. It was light and short, when usually I can count on it lasting about a week. This time it was only three days. On top of that, once my period ends I could set a clock as to when I ovulate (yes, I'm one of those lucky women). This month? Nothing. No sign, signal or anything telling me that my body is going through it's normal cycle. I've taken two pregnancy tests...both negative.

Other than that I haven't been feeling like myself. I've been really forgetful (like my brain has been in a fog) and I haven't felt much like eating. When I do, I don't feel great. Not really nauseous, but off. And I'm tired. Who knows if all of this is just psychologically enduced hopefulness, though! One thing I will not complain about is the fact that my face has been really clear! Usually I break out about two times a month (hormone related, I'm sure). Anyway, we've got another week and a half until my next period is due, so we will see what happens. I know my body, and it's not acting like normal.

On to play the waiting game!