Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Sleepy Baby, Sad Mommy
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Quickest Year of My Life
It amazes me that we are only two weeks away from our little girl turning one year old. I don't know where the time went. Watching her grow and change over this last year has been such a joy...I can't even begin to describe it. I'm excited for the years to come, but saddened by how quickly she's growing up and how soon she won't be a "baby" any more.
I watched as she was placed on my belly at birth, as she took her first breaths of life.
I watched as my family met her for the very first time.
I ached when her little belly would hurt.
I smiled at her little coos.
I laughed at her facial expressions and how silly she could be when she's so tiny.
I was proud when she rolled over for the first time.
I was amazed when she started crawling.
I was blown away when we had to move her crib mattress down at 61/2 months because she was standing.
I was excited watching her take her first steps.
I am humbled at how much she calms me and teaches me to enjoy the moment.
I am heartbroken at how big she's getting.
I am excited for what we can teach eachother next.
I am in love like I never knew I would be.
They tell you that you don't know what love is until your first child is born. I knew that it was true but just didn't understand the extent to which the human heart can love. I love my husband wholly and completely, but my child is without words. I would do anything to keep her safe and to give her the life that she deserves. I'm so thankful to have created a family with my best friend, and to have the opportunity to parent with him. Having Rebekah in our lives has given us a closeness that I never knew existed. We are constantly working in partnership, where before she came in to the picture, we were living our lives together.
I'm just amazed at how that adorable little being can change my outlook on life so drastically. Before, I constantly felt like I had to be busy. Now, I'm content just watching her play and learn. I don't want to be "out and about" on the weekends. I just want to be at home with my little family soaking up every second that I can with them.
Having Bekah has definitely changed me, but its given me a focus that I never knew I could have. Thank you, little one, for making my life amazing.
I watched as she was placed on my belly at birth, as she took her first breaths of life.
I watched as my family met her for the very first time.
I ached when her little belly would hurt.
I smiled at her little coos.
I laughed at her facial expressions and how silly she could be when she's so tiny.
I was proud when she rolled over for the first time.
I was amazed when she started crawling.
I was blown away when we had to move her crib mattress down at 61/2 months because she was standing.
I was excited watching her take her first steps.
I am humbled at how much she calms me and teaches me to enjoy the moment.
I am heartbroken at how big she's getting.
I am excited for what we can teach eachother next.
I am in love like I never knew I would be.
They tell you that you don't know what love is until your first child is born. I knew that it was true but just didn't understand the extent to which the human heart can love. I love my husband wholly and completely, but my child is without words. I would do anything to keep her safe and to give her the life that she deserves. I'm so thankful to have created a family with my best friend, and to have the opportunity to parent with him. Having Rebekah in our lives has given us a closeness that I never knew existed. We are constantly working in partnership, where before she came in to the picture, we were living our lives together.
I'm just amazed at how that adorable little being can change my outlook on life so drastically. Before, I constantly felt like I had to be busy. Now, I'm content just watching her play and learn. I don't want to be "out and about" on the weekends. I just want to be at home with my little family soaking up every second that I can with them.
Having Bekah has definitely changed me, but its given me a focus that I never knew I could have. Thank you, little one, for making my life amazing.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I'm a mommy!
Life got a bit hectic in November, as usual...and then December...and then I had some high blood pressure issues. Needless to say, I'm using that as an excuse for my lack of blogginess. :D
Anyway...I'm a mommy! Rebekah Elizabeth Brauer was born on January 24th 2010 at 1:43pm. She weighed in at 7lbs 4.7oz and was 20 1/2" long...only to shrink to 19 1/2" after her cone head dissipated.
Labor was a bitch (utilized in the interest of those reading this as I'd like to use more profane language). I'm thankful that God created women's brains to forget because I would absolutely not go through that again if I were able to remember it all. Here's the story:
My due-date came and went. I was initially due January 18th. At my appointment on January 19th I had my weekly checkup with the OB. He checked my cervix and it was sealed shut. This baby was not coming any time soon. They scheduled me for induction on Monday night, but said that if things were the same at my 11am appointment on Monday that they may bump it back further since my body was obviously not ready. I was all prepared to be induced.
Since we figured that Monday night would be the start of it all, Justin and I decided on Friday night (January 22nd) to go to dinner - just the two of us. Mind you, we don't do this often. We really enjoy going out with friends and rarely have the gumption to go out, just the two of us. However, we figured that if ever there was a time to make time for just ourselves, this was it. We went to dinner at Silver City Brewery (our favorite place) and enjoyed eachother's company. Then, came home and snuggled in to bed and stared at my monstrous mid-sectionwhile watching movies. The anticipation of becoming parents had been killing us - we wanted to meet our baby girl, already!
Saturday morning I woke up with "indigestion" - I was assuming it was caused by the pizza I had eaten the night before. This wouldn't have been the first time that this happened. I kept waking up with stomach cramps. It was 5:30 in the morning on Saturday. NOT a day I want to be up early with a stomach ache! This all quickly changed. It suddenly dawned on me to start watching the clock. I was having "cramps" every 7 minutes. When I got up to go to the bathroom they were every 4 minutes. Hmm...IT WAS FINALLY HAPPENING!
Justin and I started timing contractions. By about 9am they were very uncomfortable so we called the hospital. They told us to go ahead and come in to get checked. We got up, showered, and dressed and headed for Silverdale. When I got to the hospital I was dialated 1cm and about 60% effaced. They said they wanted to watch me for two hours and then check me again to see what kind of progress I was making. After 2 hours (by this time its actually about 12:30) they checked me again and I was severely disappointed to be at EXACTLY the same point I had been when I was checked in. They were going to send me home. The OB came in to check my fluid levels and then offered me some pain medication so that I could go home and get some sleep. I gladly accepted. At about 1:20 they came in and gave me a shot of morphine in my hip...that was fun. Then waited a bit longer before checking me out. It was about 2:45 by the time we left the hospital and headed home. We stopped at McDonald's on the way home because at this point I was starving.
We got home and I slept until the medication began to wear off at about 6:00pm. I continued laboring for a while (sitting in the shower with scorching hot water on my back). My contractions were excruciating - back labor sucks. By about 7:30pm we called the hospital again. My contractions were about 4 minutes apart and getting consistenly stronger. They told me to come in again to be checked. We got there at about 8pm - this time when they checked me I was still only dialated to 1cm but was 100% effaced. Yay! Progress! However, they wouldn't check me in to the hospital until I was dialated to 3cm. After some monitoring and another shot of morphine they sent me home again with a warning that the medication probably wouldn't work as well as it had before. They weren't lying! Justin and I got home at about 10pm and the pain meds wore off by 1am. Justin had gone downstairs to the couch to try and catch a few z's since I was tossing and turning. When I woke up at 1am I labored as quietly as possible for as long as I could. By about 2:30am I was well into excruciating pain again and started yelling for Justin. He came upstairs and rubbed my back for a bit, then laid on the floor while I rolled all over the bed writhing in pain. There was nothing he could do to help me and it was really bothering him. I had to hold out as long as possible because the last thing I needed was to be sent home again from the hospital.
I took another shower, again with scorching water on my back and at about 5:30 in the morning I lost my mucous plug...that was interesting! Not what I imagined! I'll save you the gory details on that one. Finally, at about 6:00ish I decided that I really couldn't hold out any longer and needed to get dressed and head to the hospital. We called, and they said to come on in. It took me a bit to get dressed and ready to go as my contractions were hard and long. Kind of difficult to get dressed and get your shoes on when you're in excruciating pain. Slip on shoes, ladies. My only advice.
We got to the hospital at about 5 mins to 7:00 and got checked in...again. Of course, I had a massive contraction right as the security guard was going to walk us back. Nothing like trying not to embarrass yourself in front of a stranger while in the worst pain you've ever experienced. We got back to the room, finally, and within minutes I was in a gown and being checked to find out my progress. The nurse said I was almost at 3cm...the question was would they admit me, or send me home? She called and spoke to Dr. Lo (the doc on call) to find out. Once the call was made and they decided to admit me I had an IV started and my epidural in. This all happened by 7:10. It was a quick 10 mins! The epidural was nothing despite the horror stories I had heard. I had one more contraction before it took hold and then I was in heaven.
After I got settled in and comfortable once the major work was done they monitored me for a bit (my heartrate slowed down some from the epidural and they were nervous they'd have to give me a shot of adrenaline) and then I was able to get some much needed sleep. We turned on Season 5 of House, which Justin had bought especially for our hospital stay, and soon after I dozed off.
At about 10:30 they checked my progress and I was to about 4 1/2cm - progress! They decided at that point to break my water...which I didn't feel at all. God bless drugs! :) After that my labor actually slowed down a bit, and almost stopped. So they gave me pitocin to speed things back up again. At first they started the drip slowly (.5mg/hour) then within the next couple of hours they increased it to 4mg/hour. This really kicked my labor in to high gear. At about noon they checked me again and I was at 9cm! They told me they'd wait for me to labor a bit longer and for her to drop down further and then I could start pushing.
At 1:00 they came in and checked me again and she was right there. Our labor nurse, Jackie, said this would be the time to call people, so Justin called his mom, my mom and my dad (and my aunt & uncle who were with my dad) to go ahead and head to the hospital. At about 1:05 I started pushing. The next 30 mins were lived in 4 minute stints pushing and resting, pushing and resting. At about 1:30 the labor nurse told us it was about time to call the OB. She said after the next couple of pushes, but partway through the next push she told me to stop. The doc was paged to come in and after she "suited up" and I pushed a few more times our beloved Rebekah made her glorious entrance into the world at 1:43pm.
It was by far the most amazing moment of my life. I get chills even now thinking about it...almost 4 months later (now that I'm finally finishing this post!). They placed her on my belly to clean her off and then took her to the warmer to finish up and get my labor process finished.
Again...the most amazing moment in my life. It was worth every bit of pain, emotion and push. She instantly made our lives even more worthwhile.
We got home and I slept until the medication began to wear off at about 6:00pm. I continued laboring for a while (sitting in the shower with scorching hot water on my back). My contractions were excruciating - back labor sucks. By about 7:30pm we called the hospital again. My contractions were about 4 minutes apart and getting consistenly stronger. They told me to come in again to be checked. We got there at about 8pm - this time when they checked me I was still only dialated to 1cm but was 100% effaced. Yay! Progress! However, they wouldn't check me in to the hospital until I was dialated to 3cm. After some monitoring and another shot of morphine they sent me home again with a warning that the medication probably wouldn't work as well as it had before. They weren't lying! Justin and I got home at about 10pm and the pain meds wore off by 1am. Justin had gone downstairs to the couch to try and catch a few z's since I was tossing and turning. When I woke up at 1am I labored as quietly as possible for as long as I could. By about 2:30am I was well into excruciating pain again and started yelling for Justin. He came upstairs and rubbed my back for a bit, then laid on the floor while I rolled all over the bed writhing in pain. There was nothing he could do to help me and it was really bothering him. I had to hold out as long as possible because the last thing I needed was to be sent home again from the hospital.
I took another shower, again with scorching water on my back and at about 5:30 in the morning I lost my mucous plug...that was interesting! Not what I imagined! I'll save you the gory details on that one. Finally, at about 6:00ish I decided that I really couldn't hold out any longer and needed to get dressed and head to the hospital. We called, and they said to come on in. It took me a bit to get dressed and ready to go as my contractions were hard and long. Kind of difficult to get dressed and get your shoes on when you're in excruciating pain. Slip on shoes, ladies. My only advice.
We got to the hospital at about 5 mins to 7:00 and got checked in...again. Of course, I had a massive contraction right as the security guard was going to walk us back. Nothing like trying not to embarrass yourself in front of a stranger while in the worst pain you've ever experienced. We got back to the room, finally, and within minutes I was in a gown and being checked to find out my progress. The nurse said I was almost at 3cm...the question was would they admit me, or send me home? She called and spoke to Dr. Lo (the doc on call) to find out. Once the call was made and they decided to admit me I had an IV started and my epidural in. This all happened by 7:10. It was a quick 10 mins! The epidural was nothing despite the horror stories I had heard. I had one more contraction before it took hold and then I was in heaven.
After I got settled in and comfortable once the major work was done they monitored me for a bit (my heartrate slowed down some from the epidural and they were nervous they'd have to give me a shot of adrenaline) and then I was able to get some much needed sleep. We turned on Season 5 of House, which Justin had bought especially for our hospital stay, and soon after I dozed off.
At about 10:30 they checked my progress and I was to about 4 1/2cm - progress! They decided at that point to break my water...which I didn't feel at all. God bless drugs! :) After that my labor actually slowed down a bit, and almost stopped. So they gave me pitocin to speed things back up again. At first they started the drip slowly (.5mg/hour) then within the next couple of hours they increased it to 4mg/hour. This really kicked my labor in to high gear. At about noon they checked me again and I was at 9cm! They told me they'd wait for me to labor a bit longer and for her to drop down further and then I could start pushing.
At 1:00 they came in and checked me again and she was right there. Our labor nurse, Jackie, said this would be the time to call people, so Justin called his mom, my mom and my dad (and my aunt & uncle who were with my dad) to go ahead and head to the hospital. At about 1:05 I started pushing. The next 30 mins were lived in 4 minute stints pushing and resting, pushing and resting. At about 1:30 the labor nurse told us it was about time to call the OB. She said after the next couple of pushes, but partway through the next push she told me to stop. The doc was paged to come in and after she "suited up" and I pushed a few more times our beloved Rebekah made her glorious entrance into the world at 1:43pm.
Again...the most amazing moment in my life. It was worth every bit of pain, emotion and push. She instantly made our lives even more worthwhile.
My little family <3Tuesday, October 27, 2009
On the Downhill Slide
I'm officially in my third trimester, and I can now say that I have a pretzel baby. I had my follow-up 28 week ultrasound yesterday to check the position of my placenta. We discovered, in the process, that Bekah is currently sitting butt down and folded in half with her feet by her head. No fetal position for this kid! Yet another thing we're going to have to keep our eyes on as her birth nears. Hopefully she'll turn around on her own.
Things are looking good and my placenta is no longer covering my cervical opening. We're not out of the woods and I don't have the "official" word from my OB, yet, but we're heading in the right direction! I'll know more on Friday after my follow-up appointment but it's looking as though the threat of bedrest is no longer looming! Other than that...she's beautiful and healthy.
Things are looking good and my placenta is no longer covering my cervical opening. We're not out of the woods and I don't have the "official" word from my OB, yet, but we're heading in the right direction! I'll know more on Friday after my follow-up appointment but it's looking as though the threat of bedrest is no longer looming! Other than that...she's beautiful and healthy.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
First of the photos
Okay...the first baby bump photo is now up. This was taken on Friday at 24 weeks and 4 days. Officially halfway through my 6th month. It's flying by!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Kicked back 4
I got some reassuring news from my OB almost two weeks ago. My placenta is still mainly posterior (toward my back) like it should be, but the end of it is covering my cervix. Originally, I was supposed to go in for another ultrasound this Friday. However, after meeting with Dr. Christen, they cancelled that ultrasound and moved it back to 28 weeks. This is good news! I was originally looking at the possibility of bedrest beginning in October, but now I don't have to worry for another month...unless I have any bleeding.
It's been neat to feel her moving around. She is kicking the crap out of me daily and starting to develop patterns as to when this happens. Justin (when he's not in bed early) is able to feel her kicking around after I lay down in bed for the night. The other night she kicked/punched him HARD and I made sure to let him know just how much fun it was to have her do that to my bladder. It can take my breath away, it's so hard!
I've finally started to show and am officially in maternity pants. Most of my shirts stil fit considering what I wear tends to be loose or stretchy, anyway. It was strange how quickly I went from not really showing at all to needing to be in maternity pants completely. I have to say they're a LOT more comfortable than regular pants at this point! Plus, I found a really cute pair of jeans that I love. :) My stomach is now hard and round and I can feel her kicking higher in my belly. Time to break out the camera for those embarassing belly pics for the scrap book! I'll consider posting one soon.
On another note, I'm looking forward to a girls day with a good friend on Saturday devoted entirely to catching up on scrapbooking. I'm SO far behind and really excited to get a handle on things. I'm going to have to be picky about what I scrapbook at this point, so I'll be starting with the cruise to Alaska we took in September of 2007 and then possibly moving on to our Disneyland trip this past May. It's so easy to get behind, but a fun way to catch up!
It's been neat to feel her moving around. She is kicking the crap out of me daily and starting to develop patterns as to when this happens. Justin (when he's not in bed early) is able to feel her kicking around after I lay down in bed for the night. The other night she kicked/punched him HARD and I made sure to let him know just how much fun it was to have her do that to my bladder. It can take my breath away, it's so hard!
I've finally started to show and am officially in maternity pants. Most of my shirts stil fit considering what I wear tends to be loose or stretchy, anyway. It was strange how quickly I went from not really showing at all to needing to be in maternity pants completely. I have to say they're a LOT more comfortable than regular pants at this point! Plus, I found a really cute pair of jeans that I love. :) My stomach is now hard and round and I can feel her kicking higher in my belly. Time to break out the camera for those embarassing belly pics for the scrap book! I'll consider posting one soon.
On another note, I'm looking forward to a girls day with a good friend on Saturday devoted entirely to catching up on scrapbooking. I'm SO far behind and really excited to get a handle on things. I'm going to have to be picky about what I scrapbook at this point, so I'll be starting with the cruise to Alaska we took in September of 2007 and then possibly moving on to our Disneyland trip this past May. It's so easy to get behind, but a fun way to catch up!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
A busy and stressful week
One week ago, Thursday, we found out that we're having a little girl! We went in for our ultrasound early in the morning. I barely slept the night before, but it was worth the tiredness the next day. I was so excited to know who was finally growing in my belly. We've had names picked out for years so we knew right away what her name was to be. I have a little Rebekah Elizabeth growing!
Now for the stressful part. In the midst of a lot of work stress - shutting down the summer and starting up the school year - I got a call from my doctor. They needed to see me as a follow up to my ultrasound and didn't want to wait until my appointment next Thursday. Okay...something must be up. After some phone tag with the doctors office I went in on Thursday for my appointment and got some possibly scary and stressful news. I have complete placenta previa. What that means is that where a woman's placenta would normally place itself at the upper back side of her uterus, mine has planted at the bottom and is completely covering my cervix. If I were to go into labor with it like that I could hemorrage and bleed to death and the baby could die. Not my idea of an ideal pregnancy here!
I'll go back in in a few weeks for another ultrasound. In the mean time, they're hoping that while my uterus grows to accomodate Bekah's growing little body (which is perfect and healthy) my placenta will move out of the way. Otherwise...I may be looking at bedrest and an early c-section delivery.
Now for the stressful part. In the midst of a lot of work stress - shutting down the summer and starting up the school year - I got a call from my doctor. They needed to see me as a follow up to my ultrasound and didn't want to wait until my appointment next Thursday. Okay...something must be up. After some phone tag with the doctors office I went in on Thursday for my appointment and got some possibly scary and stressful news. I have complete placenta previa. What that means is that where a woman's placenta would normally place itself at the upper back side of her uterus, mine has planted at the bottom and is completely covering my cervix. If I were to go into labor with it like that I could hemorrage and bleed to death and the baby could die. Not my idea of an ideal pregnancy here!
I'll go back in in a few weeks for another ultrasound. In the mean time, they're hoping that while my uterus grows to accomodate Bekah's growing little body (which is perfect and healthy) my placenta will move out of the way. Otherwise...I may be looking at bedrest and an early c-section delivery.
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